What is Self Love, why do I need it?

It’s a harsh world we live in and in the process of living, we often lose the meaning of being ourselves. In the process of fighting, we often lose the meaning of recovering ourselves. In the process of caring, we often lose the meaning of loving ourselves.

There is no other person in this world like you.

You deserve to be loved not only by those around you but by the most important person in your life — YOU.

When people talk about self love, are they talking about bubble baths, pedicures, and cucumber masks? Maybe.

But, it turns out there is so much more to self-love than just pampering ourselves.

Self love means choosing you over everything and everyone.

It’s okay to leave the shadow of that popular personality for a while, its okay to leave a party before everyone or leaving work in between because you feel tired.

WHAT REALLY IS SELF LOVE?

It is learning to be happy on your own, without any external support/force, learning to accept your flaws.

It also means distancing yourself from people who are not good for you, even if sometimes it feels like you can’t leave them behind.

It means allowing yourself to dream big, without contaminating these dreams with judgments, your perceived limitations, or a lack of sense of deserving.
Finally, it is allowing you to be imperfect and live life without labels.

Wait. That doesn’t sound right. What if become another Narcissus? What if I’m just following another cheesy, tree hugging, hippy fad?

Self love is often mistaken for many things. It has certain incorrect notions attached, which makes it harder to practice. We often hear people saying —

“Isn’t it narcissistic to focus on just yourself?”

“Self love is just a trendy way of saying Self Esteem” 

“I like myself just fine. I don’t need concepts like Self Love.”

But, we’re here to tell you, that this isn’t what self love is about.

SELF LOVE AND NARCISSISM ARE ON COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ROADS

The former is all about loving yourself, focusing on yourself, loving the person you are, feeling good about yourself, and taking care of what’s good for you.

On the other hand, narcissism is always being concerned about your outward looks, always enforcing on others that there’s no one who could possibly be better than you, and being egoistical about yourself. 

There is nothing wrong with loving who you are! It’s even healthy, and necessary for your overall well being.  

MOVING ON FROM NARCISSISM, IS SELF LOVE SAME AS HAVING TONS OF SELF ESTEEM?

Both of the above mentioned terms are often used interchangeably.

People often do not understand that they’re different from each other.

While, each is important for building the other, they’re not the same.

Self esteem is being proud of yourself, of all you’ve done and who you are.

But, self love comes from accepting yourself as you are, with all your flaws, having a desire to be good to yourself and taking what makes you happy.

The former is only focused on certain areas of your life. Like, you might be proud of your communication skills, your work ethic or you might be proud of being a fabulous singer, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you love yourself.

You may not be that great a sportsperson, or you might freeze on a stage in front of people, or you may even be a horrible cook.

The latter owns your shortcomings as a part of you. 

This isn’t a simple concept.

You don’t need to love yourself just because you’re having problems, or don’t like your life.

WHY IS SELF LOVE IMPORTANT?

It is important no matter how content you think you are.

It is essential, as –

• It makes sure that you only do what’s right and good for you.

• It teaches you to put yourself first, when you’ve been used and walked over multiple times, you learn to stand up for yourself.

• When you love yourself, you attract the right kind of people, only those who are good for you, and will lift you up, and not pull you down.

• It makes you more accepting of love from others.

• You become resilient and face issues like failure and heartbreaks headstrong. You are able to take it in stride and move forward, instead of letting it affect you, and making you feel like you’re good for nothing. 

Seems interesting, makes sense.

HOW DO I DO IT?

Now, that you know what’s it all about, how about you start loving yourself more, little by little, everyday?

• Start each day by telling yourself something really positive.

How well you handled a situation, how lovely you look today. Anything that will make you smile. Don’t believe everything you think. There is an inner critic inside of us trying to keep us small and safe. The downside is this also stops us from living a full life.

• Celebrate your wins no matter how big or small.

Pat yourself on the back and be proud of what you have achieved. Step outside of your comfort zone and try something new. It’s incredible the feeling you get when you realize you’ve achieved something you didn’t know or think you could before.

• Give up the need for approval from others. 

There is always going to be someone who you think is pretty, smart or talented. This doesn’t mean you’re any less. You have your own light; don’t let it be overshadowed by anyone else. 

Embrace and love the things that make you different. This is what makes you special.

IN A NUTSHELL

When you love yourself, you become your own cheerleader, always pushing yourself forward, towards what makes you happy, positive and YOU. 

Self love isn’t an easy or a fast process, it isn’t developed overnight. After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day! But it’s never too late. What better time to start than now? 

Love yourself.