How to talk about mental health with your family

Introduction

Whenever we feel like reaching out for help, more often than not, we tend to take a step back due to the fear of being judged not just by society but also by those closest to us, for example, parents or guardians. It is common in India for elders or even youngsters in some cases to disregard therapy. But does that mean that therapy is indeed not productive or is as good as just talking to a friend? Fortunately, No. 

Convincing our family members to allow us to go for therapy is important, but first, we must understand it.

Going to psychological therapy does not necessarily mean that there is an illness. Even if there were, would we ask a person with fever to just try and not feel physically weak? No, we would advise them to go to a doctor. 

Here are some logical pointers you can put in front of your parents in favor of therapy:

1. Our mind and body are continuously intertwined and continuously affect each other; both can face distress, and prevention is better than cure is a mantra that our elders themselves have imbibed in us.
2. In case one does have a mental illness, it does not necessarily mean that it is because of their caregivers. It could have been passed down from genes or could be an effect of the outside world too. There are a lot of possibilities that can only be ascertained by a psychologist.
3. Psychological therapy is a scientific and structured process that helps us know ourselves, improve ourselves and deal with difficult situations that life throws our way.
4. It can be both talk and behavior-oriented. 
5. The main aim of psychological therapy is to make an individual independent and help them thrive even in challenging situations.
6. A good therapist always tries to make sure that their client needs minimal help in the future before terminating therapy.
7. It is not necessary for one to start medication, along with therapy. Only a psychiatrist (a medical doctor with a psychology/neuroscience major) can prescribe it. 

Knowing these things will certainly help you make valid and concrete points in front of your parents or guardians in favour of therapy. 

As for the emotional part, you can try the following techniques.

1. In case you are generally open with your parents, and you are not comfortable sharing all your problems with them, you could just explain to them how you know that they are there for you, but there are just some things that you would rather share with a therapist. Make sure to tell them that it is not due to a lack of trust. It is just that you are trying out a new approach and just seeing if it is right for you.
   And in case you feel that it is not as helpful as you had hoped, you can assure them that you will tell them yourself and take a break.
2. In case you have financial issues going on and can barely afford therapy, you could make a list of unnecessary things you are willing to cut out in order to make therapy more affordable. This will show your parents how serious you are about it and they will be less resistant.
3. You can also explain how therapy is as important as a physical health check-up with an example of a car. The engine is to a car what the nervous system is to a brain. A car needs regular servicing and check-ups, too, but are they limited to tires, windshields, paint, etc.? The engine is the one that gets the most attention and needs care more than other parts; the same is with our brain. Our brain might not be on the outside, but it is still the most integral part of the body. The heart may provide the body with the blood, but in the end, our brain is the one controlling everything and should get the best care.
4. Another analogy that can be used here is that of clothes. We need a strong detergent to get tough stains out for sure. Still, to retain that cloth’s integrity or keep it in its best state possible, we need a fabric conditioner too. Hardships are important in life that does not mean that relief will not bring us any lessons. 
5. Sometimes, it is possible that parents disagree with the importance of therapy despite best efforts and do not allow you to go for it either. In that case, you could either try and save your pocket money for therapy (online therapy is prevalent too if you can not get out of the house) and inform some elder or family member who can be your support through this.
6. In case you neither have support nor money, you could contact mental health-related helplines, NGOs, etc., and ask if you can get any help.

It is essential that you know that there is always hope no matter how small, ten doors might close. Still, one day at least one will open up, and you will be on your way to a world of new possibilities, new hardships, and a new mindset.

Have faith; it is never over…

Writer : Harshita