How to Decide Whether a Particular Therapist is Best Suited For You

So you convinced yourself and your parents to let you go for therapy, collected or already had the money required, but now comes another challenge, which is deciding which therapist or clinic you should go to for help.

Even though recommendations go a long way, we must note that the answer does not lie in them entirely.

A therapist who may be the best therapist ever, according to a straight person, might prove to be problematic for someone who is gay due to their biases. Therapists are humans too. They have their own ideologies as well. What matters is whether they are able to keep those ideologies aside and help you in the best way possible for YOU or not.

Nevertheless, feedbacks go a long way. We have to filter out the right feedback for us and act accordingly.

The best way to spot a good therapist is to ask your friends/acquaintances who have studied psychology for a better insight. Being psychology students, they must have attended some workshops or internships, which would have given them the opportunity to evaluate the speaker’s style and figure out if they would be a good fit for you.

Another way of finding valid suggestions is by checking out unadvertised blogs.

You could also ask others who have been to therapy or have heard of someone good.

Now let’s assume you started therapy after all your online and on-ground research but are unsure whether your therapist is the right fit for you. 

Here are some red flags you can look out for:

It must be noted that there is a possibility that you could be misreading certain things since you probably would be in a vulnerable space at the time. Nevertheless, sometimes things are blatant, and even if they are not, it is better to confront your psychologist and try to either figure out a way around it or consult someone else.

1. Feeling of being judged: In case you feel that you are being judged by your counselor instead of being understood, you should make it clear to them provided you feel comfortable enough. This is a big error that can occur in therapy. After all, it is a human being with their own thoughts, experiences, and ideologies trying to help you get better, they might not mean harm, but it is possible that some of them could not integrate their training to the most basic levels.
2. Underqualified therapist/counselor: In case your therapist has only done a diploma and not a master’s in psychology or Ph.D., then it is better that you switch to one that has at least done their M.a. (psychology). Note that a lot of psychologists complete diploma courses even after completing a master’s, so do not be too quick to judge.
3. Feeling that the therapist’s approach is not suiting you: There are various approaches to therapy. Some psychologists practice many approaches so that the approach used for you is a custom-fit one. But it is possible that if you feel that the therapist’s approach is just not sitting well with you, you can discuss this with them so they can try a different approach with you or if they continue to practice the way they earlier were and it hinders with your growth you can just switch counselors.
4. Unprofessional behavior: If you feel that your therapist is crossing a line, be it physically or mentally, then you should convey it openly. Psychological therapy does not require any physical contact, and it is frowned upon. 
5. Incorrect evaluation: In case you are not satisfied with the evaluation given by your therapist, you should, without hesitation, refer to other psychologist/s. Incorrect evaluations are real, and in such cases, you should trust your gut instead of doubting your doubt.

Conclusion 

One thing to remember is that it is perfectly okay to switch counsellors/therapists as many times it takes for you to be satisfied. But at the same time, you must keep an open mind. You must stay open to the possibility that there may be a need for changes, be it behavioural or psychological, on your part too, and even if it feels like a challenge to your pride, you must not lose sight of what is important for your soul. Stay safe, stay informed and trust the process.

Written by Harshita Nayyar