Insecurities– we all have them. A sense of self-doubt washes over us in all aspects of our lives; whether it is our professional life or our personal life, a question of self-worth seems to follow us everywhere. Some of us are better at dealing with them or hiding them. Now, more than ever, as we strive to put our happiest pictures up on our social media handles, insecurities hit us harder. Social media has affected our image of body and beauty standards, the kind of lifestyle we should lead, and so much more. It has made us want to seek validation more than ever before.
As you scroll your feed, you see pictures of people having the time of their lives, when you feel like you’re nearing another breakdown. You see size-zero models, pictures of people traveling, the best food, and it makes you insecure. It makes you insecure about the kind of life you’re leading and makes you doubt your capabilities and your strengths. But, you already know this. The question is: how can we deal with these insecurities?
The truth is, it’s a long way. But, hopefully, by the time you scroll down and reach the end of this page, you’ll realize it’s doable. It won’t happen overnight, but it’s a journey we all need to embrace.
Obstacles in the Path
When we embark on this journey, we realize that the path is littered with obstacles that stare at us with menacing eyes. Some of the obstacles are:
• Past Criticism: A statement made by someone about the way you look, or the way you are, can stick with you. It can make you loathe the trait that was commented on, and overthink. Some of these wounds never really heal, and hence, act like a boulder in this voyage.
• Negative self-image: Our opinions about ourselves often make us doubt ourselves. We do not want to accept who we are, simply because sometimes we don’t fit in our conventional definitions of “fabulous” or “beautiful”. This is because of our self-constructed image of ourselves.
• Social Media: This is one of the biggest obstacles we face. In today’s age, our gadgets have become an extension of our bodies. We scroll our social media feeds all day, and can never bring ourselves to terms with the pitch-perfect life we find on other people’s social media profiles. This fuels our self-loathe and makes us feel unworthy.
• Seeking approval: We are hungry for validation. When people appreciate us, we feel good about ourselves in that moment, but just a few minutes later, we’re back to reality. The reality where we doubt ourselves and become paranoid about ourselves.
The journey is long and tiresome. But, once we’re on the right path, we’ll make our way through it. There will be days when you feel like stopping and giving up, but, you’ll look ahead and realize you’re just one last turn away from your destination. Once we start this crusade, we realize that the obstacles are part of the path, in fact, they are the path. We hit them with full force, and make our unique tunnel out of it. Come on, walk with me, let’s follow this roadmap together.
Our first stop is Baby Steps Village.
Here, we understand that the only way we’ll make it to our final destination is by walking baby steps. The first step is to understand your triggers, what exactly causes your insecurities. Think about the times when you feel the most insecure. Is it a friend who comments on a flaw? That could be a sign to change your social circle up a little.
Remember that taking baby steps is always better than standing still. Your thoughts won’t change overnight, but these baby steps will turn into big steps that will help you reach your final destination. Keep going, we have a long way to go!
Our second stop is Self-Acceptance Street.
This is a stop many try to skip. As humans, our basic nature is to escape the problems we face. But, that is neither a healthy, nor a long-term solution to our lack of confidence. These feelings of self-doubt are something we need to tackle head-on. To do so, the only way is to accept ourselves and understand that our imperfections are what make us human.
Look into the deepest parts of your soul, at the person you are. The person you sometimes hide behind this facade of a self-image. Think of that person as your best friend, and just as you’d accept an imperfect friend, you will accept yourself. Give yourself some time to heal, and allow yourself to feel. You can always change for the better, but that change should not stem from self-loathe.
Our next stop is Self Compassion and No Comparison Avenue.
Over here, we will address the need to be compassionate to yourself. No one is perfect. Perfectionism drives our self-criticism because, in our own eyes, we are never “good enough”. It can also deflate our self-esteem, thus exponentially increasing our sense of self-doubt. We compare ourselves with people, their so-called perfect life that we see on social media, and it breaks us from the inside. It’s apples and oranges; you can’t compare them.
Similarly, you can’t compare yourself with someone else. Everyone is their own person, and we’re all walking on our different paths. Wish them success on their path, keep walking on yours. You’re going to rock your path, and they’ll rock theirs!
Our last stop is Growth Mindset City.
The destination is close now. All we need to reach it is a change in perspective. This change will lead to us having a growth mindset; it will make us want to shape ourselves into better people, after having tackled our insecurities head-on. Rather than letting your beliefs limit you, it’s time to break the shackles. If problems didn’t exist, we wouldn’t grow. Challenge your negative thoughts, and let yourself feel.
Face your insecurity. Understand your triggers, and develop trust in yourself. Know why you feel insecure, and make yourself devoted to personal growth. Instead of loathing yourself, teach yourself. Let yourself grow.
It’s okay to have insecurities. You will learn to trust yourself and trust the moment. You will grow and build yourself into a better person, and you will accept yourself. If you feel as though the battles are too tough to fight alone, feel free to reach out for professional help. You don’t have to be scared to talk about it. Just have a little faith in you. I believe in you, but you have to, too!
Writen by Nandinii